1.An utterly pointless Guardian article in the form of an appreciation escalation, which is a really bad description made up by me. I just read a feature on Abigail's Party by Mike Leigh, where they interviewed Leigh, Steadman, and a host of people that have nothing to do with the film to ask them how it was significant to them. The importance of the work escalates to such a point that the last person probably described it as a 'slightly more historically momentuous event than the Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, and the Qu'ran if they happened to be made up simultaneously'.
2. Wine related metaphors should be banned. I noticed on the copy of Metropolitan that I took out last week that there were TWO wine-related descriptions: 'Fizzes like champagne' and 'A real vintage'. Roundabout (I didn't write them down, but they really were no wittier - Whittier?- than that).
3. Everyone should have a favourite James Bond, or at least a convincing opinion on which one is the best. I always feel at a loss when people talk about the latest 007 film, as I haven't seen any since the last time I had to stay in during a Bank Holiday. I had an idea about a series set in James Bond's retirement, where he has to go on really mundane missions, like stopping speeding milk floats. He has a younger son, with modern non-sexist attitudes, who doesn't understand his dad's philandering, Casanova treatment of the ladies at Bowls Club. Bond - meets some BBC 1 90s Sunday evening generation gap 'comedy' - meets Werther's Original ad.
